I dunno what God have in store for me. I don't even know why He bring me to him, out of other good ppl.
I hate myself for whatever i did in the past.
Yes, they say whats past is the past..
But even though you've changed, your past will still follow you wherever you go, just like your shadow..................
buy me a Vodka @ 12:35 AM
Saturday, October 16, 2010
No words could express my feelings.
Tears just keep rolling down as he hug me.
I really miss him a lot.
There will be no more teary nights for me now.
Because why, I'm back again with the guy who stole my heart, 10 months ago.
And yes, we'll be much more stronger then before and we'll go through everything together. As promised.
To my dearest Daddy, I'm sorry for whatever shit I've done to you. I will make up for what happened in the past. I promised I'll change. I know I can and I will. =)
It's been hard on me without you. And I really don't want to go through this hell of a ride again. Never.
I hope that we can be there for each other in times of good and bad.
Because I'm sooo in love with you, Muhammad Khairul Bin Sanusi. And I'm not gona lose you again for the second time. I won't. =)
buy me a Vodka @ 12:47 PM
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Yesterday i went to this place. Actually i don't intend to go there.. But my leg just keep walking.
It seems like any ordinary place.. Nothing special..
But once i take a seat,the whole atmosphere change. And i cry. Yup,i cried. Its soooo uncool to cry in public ok.. hahaha
That place,just brings a lot of memories.
The wall. And i could really imagine he was sitting there,looking at me.
Because that place, was where everything starts.
I don't even know y i was there. Dudok mcm org bodoh.. haha
Hmmm... But somehow i could feel his present. Guess im missing him too much huh?
I miss everything about him. I miss whatever we did at that place.(Tkda benda kotor ehkkkk)
He told me to be strong. I tried..
But even he's not that strong as he seems.. Right my dear??
I wana forget the past. I wana change. =)
buy me a Vodka @ 2:43 PM
Must i face with jerks everyday???
Ape ni ajak2 klua... Org da tanak tu tanak lah... babi!
buy me a Vodka @ 2:32 PM
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Please la ehkkk.. Asal la jantan2 kat dunia ni kebanyakan yg mcm sial ehk???
Aku single ke aku attach ke,aku nya pasal la!!
Kalau aku maseh syg dia pon aku nya pasal la!!!
And skrg ni kalau aku single pon,tk bermakna aku nk mencari pe.. BODOH!
Sorry la ehk.. kalau yer pon kau nak carik peluang,don't be such as ass!
Pkr korg baik sangat pe? Jantan melayu terakhir?? Nak bagi nasihat pon, bagi yg merepek2!
Ar arhhh!! Aku fed up!!! Aku bingit!!!!!!!!!!! Arrrrrrrgggghhh!!!!!
Aku tak mintak pon semua ni berlaku.. Jahat sangat ke aku ni?? Aku pon ada perasaan pe. Aku nk semua benda perfect,tapi yer,aku tau tu sume aku tk leh dpt. Tapi at least aku cuba lupakan perkara2 yg buat aku sedih. Dan mmg aku bahagia. Its true that relationship does not only base on love. But we love each other. A LOT! AND I KNEW IT FROM THE START! HE WAS ALL I NEED. AND HE WAS ALL I WANT. NO ONE ELSE.(minus my family)
Ingat aku tk sedih pe dgn keadaan matair aku sndri. Dgn problem dia kat rumah,dgn keadaan diri dia sendiri,dgn ntah apa2 lagi la...
Aku nk sgt2 tolong dia dgn apa yg aku mampu. And i want to be there for him. Really i do.. =(
Silap aku,aku suke tunjuk perangai aku,kadang2 aku tk reti nk hargai dia,aku suka ikotkan perasaan aku sgt... Yer! Aku menyesal! Menyesal sgt2!! ='(
Aku tanak lepaskan dia,dan tak akan lepaskan dia... Mungkin phisically.. Tapi hati aku,aku tk mampu nk benci dia.. Sebab dia yg terbaik. Dan aku percaya,tkda lelaki yg boleh mampu buat aku bahagia mcm yg dia lakukan. Walaupon dia tkda belanja aku mkn kat tempat yg mahal2,hadiahkan aku barang2 yg branded.. Aku cuba terima diri dia seadanya. And its true, im really happy to be with him.
And at this moment,i really10 miss him a lot.
Tapi aku tau,apa2 yg aku ckp pon,tk mungkin dia nk dtg balik.. Aku cuma tau,dia marah dgn aku. Benci? tu aku tak pasti...
Walaupon dia ada balas sms aku, tapi aku ada rasa sesuatu yg beza. Hmm.. Ntah la ehk.. Kadang2 rasa mcm nk give up pon ada... Rasa je... =)
But i dont think so la.. I still love him. And i know i cant get over him just yet..............
buy me a Vodka @ 10:53 PM
Monday, October 11, 2010
I 'm happy! I feel like I've fallen in love again!!
Well who care's if its just one sided.. okok,i dun wana assume..
But i'm happy!! hehe
And it will continue to be like this, as long as i don't mess things up again.. =D
buy me a Vodka @ 6:29 PM
For now, just stay away from doing any stupid mistakes.. Please ehk girl...
buy me a Vodka @ 12:30 AM
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Some girls are not worth your effort.
Some guys are not worth your tears.
Heard that,every now and then.
But this guy here, he's worth my tears and effort. Ermm.. Right. I duno what the heck im talking about.. Hahaha.
It just means that im not gona give up on him easily. Yes, it's my fault. And im gona make it up to him. How?
You will find out sooner or later.
He's scary when he's mad. And i know he's talking serious,not shits.
But i don't think its that complicated as it seems. Hmm. Right?
....and im still hoping.
buy me a Vodka @ 1:52 PM
Saturday, October 9, 2010
I miss him sooooooooooooooooooooo much!!
I miss texting and receiving sms from him.
I miss the smell of him.
I miss hugging him tightly while rubbing/touching the back of his head.
I miss kissing his check umpteen times with my nose.
I miss those laughing moments with him.
I miss hearing to his voice through the phone.
I just miss every bits and pieces of him..... =(
buy me a Vodka @ 11:26 PM
Friday, October 8, 2010
Yes, it's my fault.
I just have feelings that i cant control. Instead, i let it control me. Now just look at the mess ive made. Hmmm..
Yup,i have to start cleaning it right away.
And sorry isnt enough. i know.
Can u please guide me, and let me prove to you that i can change???
buy me a Vodka @ 10:17 PM
It seems like my mind have moved on...
But each time i look at his pictures,i cried.
And since its my fault, well, whatever his decision will be,i just take it that its the best for both of us. =)
I miss you,my bugs bunny...
buy me a Vodka @ 1:29 PM
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I may not be the sweetest guy in the world.
I may have flaws that no human being could ever cope with.
I'm still trying to figure things out.
Trying to map out the solutions.
But if there is any doubt within you.
Let me assure you that no matter how low the earth is
No matter how tall the mountains are.
I will still venture my way out to make it to you.
-Khairul- 28/08/10
buy me a Vodka @ 3:24 PM
Da lumrah manusia... Kalau aku tk meletop pon tk jadi gini.. Tapi pon padan jgk muka aku kan...
buy me a Vodka @ 11:07 AM
I'm still learning the Art Of Letting Go.................
buy me a Vodka @ 12:42 AM
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
At least now i can smile. Though i cant laugh.. =)
buy me a Vodka @ 11:03 AM
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
I've thought about it.
If this is just about me and his mum,then i'm willing to do anything for his sake.
I will,win his mum's heart. No matter what it takes..
buy me a Vodka @ 6:46 PM
Heaven knows love is just a chance we take
We make plans but then love demands a leap of faith
So, hold me close and never let me go
Cause even though we think we know which way the river flows
That's not the way love goes.......
buy me a Vodka @ 5:46 PM
Monday, October 4, 2010
How i wish a miracle would happen tonight.
I wish......................
buy me a Vodka @ 10:42 PM
No matter how hard you fight with your mother,father,sister,or brother, they are still a part of you. YOUR FAMILY.
But if you had a fight/misuderstanding with your girlfriend or boyfriend, they could end up being a stranger to you.
Unless you are willing to forgive her/him and put aside your ego,just to make them yours again..
You came,and you've changed me.
The things you've done for me,
Well, you can't force me to erase all of them.
When i was with you, i was with you.
There's no one else .
I know how you don't like seeing me with other guys.
I don't mind that at all. Yes, i was against it at first.
But who wana care about other people now, when they already have someone soo special close to them??
We make mistakes. Tons of them.
I was obsessed, and you were obsessed too.
Remember the time you ask for a break up? The time when you had soo much problems going on?
Do you even think about my feelings at that point of time?
But yes, we made it through. Because I don't want this love to end just yet.
I realized that as long as u live, you live with problems. You just have to endure it.
I was hurt. And i know that i took it to the heart.
And neglect your feelings.
I regret that very much now.
And letting go isn't that easy.
How i wish we could put aside all those nightmares and start again.
We were both hurt,mad,sad.
But just look behind you. Are you willing to leave all that behind?
You do know how much i love you. Don't you?
It's almost 10 months we've been together.
Going up and down the hill together.
And I don't wish to do it alone. I don't.
But if we really ended up just as friends, I don't want it to be this way.
No hard feelings,no grudges.
And if we do get back together(which i'm still hoping for), I promise you that I won't be selfish and of cos, love you more than i already am right now. I'll cherish you.
I'm sorry for hurting you real bad.
I'm sorry for being selfish.
I'm sorry for neglecting your feelings.
I'm sorry for whatever i've done to you for as long as we were together.
The decision now,is yours to make.
Because you would know the answer, if you were to ask me.
~My mind might have move on a little. But not my heart.~
buy me a Vodka @ 4:35 PM
Wish you are with me right now... =/
buy me a Vodka @ 9:21 AM
Sunday, October 3, 2010
I'm falling apart,I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart,you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be,over and over
We could be,forever
It's not over,it's not over,it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over,it's not over,it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over
buy me a Vodka @ 10:19 PM
Yup,this is all too hard for me.. I didnt even know whats wrong and whats right to do..
Guess i was too desperate huh? Hmm.. Well,ive think it through.
With all the advices given, i just have to be patient and take it slow. He needs more time. So why keep pestering him? Right?
He may seem like he's over it. But who knows he's still mad about it and needs more time to recover? Well, i don't wana assume things.
Love is like riding on a roller coaster. Sometimes, the ride is not for you to enjoy.. =/
buy me a Vodka @ 4:38 PM
The blades are sharper and it hurts even more now.. Haizz...
buy me a Vodka @ 11:58 AM
The blades are sharper and it hurts even more now.. Haizz...
buy me a Vodka @ 11:58 AM
Saturday, October 2, 2010
I really wana know whats on his mind. Cant he like talk to me or sumting??? Hmm
Dont' wish to have another week of hell.. =/
buy me a Vodka @ 11:45 PM
Friday, October 1, 2010
Ego does kills relationship. Only patience can save it.
How true is that? You tell me.
buy me a Vodka @ 8:40 PM
Ive tried to stop crying. But it still hurts me inside. Haiizzz.. Like i said,being strong doesnt mean im over it..
The memories still lingers on my mind. I dont wana assume things. Cos perhaps he still loves me, n he miss too. Just that he's deeply hurt and need more time for this.. Hmm
Why oh why does this have to happen again? But this was worse than b4. Because why,he's different from all my ex-boyfs.
Haizz.. I want to meet him and talk things out. Really. But im afraid he wouldnt wana meet me. Hmm.. I duno what else i can do now other den just praying and hoping. And also let out what i feel inside thru my blog. Haizzz..