Sometimes, it's not always about you. No matter how sad you are, you still got to think of the other party's feelings. In this case, ive neglect his feelings. All i could think of was how angry i was towards her. Its not just angry. But at that moment i was like totally down. Yes, i know he was always there for me. Maybe he's right. Im too obsessed with it. Im sorry...
Yes, i do regret it a lot. Frankly, i feel like ive been torn apart. There were some who advise me. Thanx a lot for the support. But nobody will ever understand my feelings. They may had gone thru this. But hell no, what im feeling is different from what they had experienced. And some can even gave a stupid 'advice' or should i say a stupid remark! If you're reading this, I'm sorry.. Im not boasting but i know he wont ever think about that one particular thing at this moment. He's not like any other guy ive known!
2 days without him texting me makes me feel soooo restless. Of cos i do still care about him. But right now, he needs time. So yeaaa.. Im trying my hard not to text him. I just dont wana try too hard. Afraid that he might drifted even further away from me.
I just duno whats running in his mind right now. What if this is too much for him and yea he fall sick? Of cos im worried!
And there are soo many different emotions in me now. I really hope he could give this relationship another chance to move on. Im still hoping. Hoping for the best.
I want to be there for him, and i want him to be here for me too. Doing things on my own really sucks. I know ive got to be strong. But being strong doesnt mean im over it. Because i wont.
I'm gona wake up each day, hoping that he will come back to me and that i can prove to him that i do really love him.
Words are just promises,actions are the proof. And I'll show it to him..
buy me a Vodka @ 11:19 PM
Well, there's lesser tears today.. But doesnt mean im over it... Since im having my PP presentation on monday, i dont want this to affect my mood.. I don't wana fail my PP!!!
Hmm.. let him ease his mind first, then we'll talk again... At least i get to listen to his side of the story kan?
2nd day without him is still inbearable.. But im better today den yesterday... N i hope tml will be better..
And of cause, finally, i do still want him to come back... That's my only wish for now...
~I NEED A MIRACLE~
buy me a Vodka @ 5:23 PM
U mean a lot to me...
Do i still mean something to you?? =(
buy me a Vodka @ 1:30 PM
I was trying too hard...
N yes, im going to stop it now. Cos i lose hope in everything already...
Y was it sooo hard for me to forget him?? To forget eveything we've been through together?? Why??
Because he was the one was always there for me... Because he knows how to treat me right... Brcause he did things that no other guy would ever do for me... Because he was more than just being my friend... Because he know how to pamper me... Because he had changed me from being the 'perempuan yg 'nakal' n kurang ajar', to what I am now... Because he love me with all his heart, n so did i...
My heart is still beating for him,day and night.. I don't think i can get over it, NEVER.. No matter how hard i tried, i still failed to do it.. Maybe i am a failure..
I failed to show him i really love him.. N now i failed to get over this break up... I'm such a loser........
buy me a Vodka @ 11:30 AM
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Another teary night..
buy me a Vodka @ 11:07 PM
No! I can't do this.. I swear..
Couldnt he give me just another one last chance??
One day without him,just kills me inside.
I cant stop thinking about him. No matter how hard i tried. Its not about how long we've been together. But its what we've gone through together. I simply couldnt forget all that.. I can't..
buy me a Vodka @ 6:24 PM
My pp poster is finally done.but its like shit i tell uu.. Kelam kabot siol aku buat..
Printing nya pasal la nie.. Haizzz..
Im gona screw my PP.. Sekali nk present trus tergamam ehk.. Mcm mana?? haizzz...
Yelarhh.. org tu maseh ada kwn pe.. boleh joke ard.. Aku ni ada sape...hmm.. Takper la.. Nti masok kubur pon sorg pe.. Bukan dgn dia..
Well, at least he replied my sms.. Pon pasal pp la... Da bagus tu dia nk reply. Dari tak layan aku trus kan..
Aku rasa hati dia pon da keras mcm batu da.. Kalau ada perasaan kat aku pon, sikit je la.. Da tak mcm dulu.. Haizzz..
Menyesal btol lahh... Da bagus2 org tu layan aku,selalu ada dgn aku,aku plak yg tk btol..
If only there can be another one last chance, one last final chance, I would really show that i truly love him and i would be more understanding den dis. Just like what my mum says. 'Mak dia tu, mak dia nya hal la.. kalau kau dgn dia ok, den terus kan je lahh.. kau pon sabar je la sikit'..
Haizz.. i would really do that if i had the opportunity... IF only.............
buy me a Vodka @ 4:59 PM
"No one really knows what their destiny is. And it takes a lifetime to learn the truth behind it. But what what i believe is that Destiny is building a bridge to the one you love."
Allow me to build that bridge over again... Pleaseee.. =(
"Nightmares can haunt us day and night. And it can freak you out in the worst possible way. Leaving you in your most vulnarable state. But i know that i'll always have you by my side. Even in my most worst and weakest state."
I want to always be there for you whenever you're in need,more than just a friend.. =(
buy me a Vodka @ 3:06 PM
He's gotten over me in just 1 nite.. Well,that's good. Move on.
I never thought this would happen. No matter how hard we struggle, I never thought of leaving him. He's the closest one to me for the past 10 months. Its sooooo sad to see that it ends..
And i guess i was too late to show him that i really love him. Reading all his messages yest night really hurts me. Because i thought we could overcome everything. And im soo jealous seeing other couples who could overcome their problems and are still standing strong till now. Whereas mine,had crashed and sunk.
I really do hope he would come back. But a hope is just a hope. Sometimes, it doesnt even come true. I dont' hate him. Looking back, i could never hate him. I still love him as much as i used to. Guess he had enough of my nonsense.
I still couldnt get over you...
buy me a Vodka @ 12:09 PM
Sorry for all the ugly posts. I was sad and furious.
What's done cant be undone. And i know him. Noo oen can force him into anything. If he wants to do it, he will do it.
Sekarang ni nak menyesal pon da tk guna kan. Padan la muka aku.. Haizzz..
Baru je aku berjanji dgn diri aku tanak susah2 kan dia lagi and that i wont let her mother our watever la affect our problem. Tapi dia da tekad nk tinggalkan aku.. Hmm.. Sume dah terlambat..
But really,hati aku masih dgn dia. And i cant even bear to see me with other guys.. No, i cant do this. I duno how to get over it. I dun even wish to start. ='(
buy me a Vodka @ 10:55 AM
Fuck!!!! I hate youuu more den ever!!! Fine its my fault!! But u dont have to do this kan!!?????
Can i just kill myself??
Well i really do.. If i die tonite, dont u ever visit my grave!
buy me a Vodka @ 12:28 AM
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Ohhhhh! Skrg ni aku ego! Kau peh ego besar gajah kau tak nampak.
Im trying my best to save the relationship and you're trying to destroy it. Yes i know partly its my fault.
Tapi bila aku da nk ok, kau yg carik pasal la plak. Yelarh aku tau kau sakit hati.. Beh aku tak sakit hati la.. Baru je nak baik pasal incident mak kau, da timbul hal mcm gini. Sori arh,aku pon tk mintak semua bnde ni terjadi. Aku masih sayang kau, tu pasal mati2 aku tanak break up. Memang sengaja aku sms dgn soalan2 bodoh aku tu. Tapi ego kau pon memang boleh tahan besar!
Beh kau nk expect aku move on. How???!!!!!!
Kau ckp kau maseh syg aku. Aku da janji dgn diri aku,aku takkan fikir2 lagi pasal mak kau. And aku tanak mintak2 apa2 dari kau. Yer aku tau kau ada kekurangannya. Tapi kasih syg yg kau bagi tu mencurah-curah.
Please don't leave me like this sayang... I don't want you.. But i need you.. Yes, i regret for what ive done to you... Im sorry.. Im sorry for not loving you perfectly...
buy me a Vodka @ 10:57 PM
No lah.. he's such a good guy. I'm the asshole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Padan muka aku!!!!!!!!!
buy me a Vodka @ 5:09 PM
Hmmmm.. Da semua bnde end up jadi salah akuu.. Terpaksa la aku give in jgk kan... Da org tu tnga sakit hati...Hmm.. Akhirnya aku jugak yg kene pujok diri sendiri.. Takper... Selagi boleh sabar,aku sabar... Bnde ni pon da biasa berlaku.. Kan??
Beh kalau da kawin nti mcm mana? Tak kan nk asek mintak cerai je kan...hmm. Renungkan lah yer..
Kekadang kita manusia ni mmg pandai bercakap.. Tapi bila sesuatu yg tidak diingi tu berlaku,apa yg kita ckp tu pon kita da tak ingat lagi dahh...
Ego kills our relationship. Patience saves our relationship. Tapi bila tnga marah, da tak ingat sume tu... Tau2 je hilang sabar nk tunjukkan ego..
But in the end tu ok la jgk... Cume aku mmg takot kalau perasaan tu da tak sama lagi.. =(
Memang aku sayang dia.. Cume kekadang aku terfikir kan diri sndri je la.. Sbb prasaan aku mcm tkda org yg fikirkan tentang diri aku.. Kenapa laa hati aku mcm ni.. Teruk btol.. ish!
Adakah benar kaum wanita susah difahami??
buy me a Vodka @ 3:30 PM
Monday, September 27, 2010
I really don't feel good.. This bloody tears wont stop coming out.. I feel soooooooo miserable right now... Ive been keeping too much sadness and hatred within me... Is this the result of keeping them too long??
How i wish that all this problem would go away.. But no,they keep coming. I never though that being in love is soo complicated.
The situation really sucks!
This is the most hurtful thing that has ever happen to me. And i just duno how strong must i be. I'm such an emotional girl. And as im typing this,tears just keep rolling down my cheeks.I swear.
I feel like shouting but nothing came out.
And when im mad or my mind's not on the right track, i tend to say something stupid which hurts him. I duno how many times ive said sorry. How am i supposed to pick myself up now??
Please, i really want all this to stop.
Dear Allah, please give me the strength and guidance for me to move on......
buy me a Vodka @ 11:30 PM
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Today marks my 9th month with Syg.. Wow!! 9 month ehkkk? hehehe..
I know this is a really great achievement for him. Cos he told me before that all his previous relationship only last for 2 months and less.. Mcm tak leh caya gitu ehkk.. lol!
Btw I hope this coming Wed, everything will go as plan.. InsyaAllah.. =)
But now, I soo can't wait for our 10th monthsary..hehe.. And after that, our 1st anni.. Weee~
Mcm2 kiter da plan tauuuu.. But oh well, kiter merancang dan Tuhan yg menentukan. Btol tak? I just pray that everything will go smoothly.. *smilee*
Anyway, here is a video I made for our 8th month.. Yer saya tau da basi sebulan.. Tkper laa, just wanna share jerr.. hehe.. =D
(If the words are too small for you, you can view it at my FB =) )
buy me a Vodka @ 10:58 PM
Friday, September 3, 2010
buy me a Vodka @ 4:29 PM
Yuuuhoooooo!! I'm backk!!! I just came back from a 3 months vacation in Maldives, Paris and Italy... =D
It was a really great gateaway! I swear! Such beautiful places.. I want my boyf to propose to me on top of Eiffel Tower.. Weeee~ K la.. i'm tired already, just gotten back from airport.. Sambung besok jer k. Selamat berpuasa! =D